While the idea of "making" anyone do anything against their wishes
isn't the intent of this article, it is both possible and realistic to
encourage someone subtly to feel a certain way about you, through being
positive, reciprocal and caring. If you've fallen for a man you'd like
to feel the same way about you, here are some suggestions to help you
encourage his feelings along in the right direction, all with subtlety
and consideration.
Steps
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1
Smile well and often. Your best weapon is always
available, completely free, and can't be overused––your winning smile!
Flash a genuine grin as often as possible, whether it's directed at your
guy or not. It makes you look approachable, and it might actually make
you happier.
- Find something to smile about. If you're a bit blue, think of a
happy moment or amusing joke to spark a smile. Do you have a favorite
pet? A favorite memory? Whatever it is, think of it as often as you need
to.
- Try a slow smile. If you've made eye contact with the man you love,
smile at him slowly, letting it spread over your face. If you tend to
blush and look down when he's looking at you, let it happen after the smile — you'll be irresistible.
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2
Show your man the best version of yourself. Trying to
change who you are to win someone over is a recipe for disaster. You
can, however, show him the more appealing sides of your personality and
looks. It might sound simple, but it can do a lot to boost your
confidence and your image. Try some of these options:
- Make the effort to look good. Keep your hair clean and styled
neatly, and pay extra attention to your personal hygiene. Put on a
little signature scent in the morning or before you go out, or wear
scented body lotion for a subtler scent. If you wear makeup, aim for a
look that's flattering but simple; don't try to overdo this aspect.
- Keep your mouth appealing. Brush your teeth twice daily, floss, and
use mouthwash. During the day, you can pull out mints or gum to freshen
your breath. If you want to, you can wear gloss or lipstick as well.
- Do your laundry regularly. Instead of buying a new wardrobe, make
the best of what you have. Set up a regular schedule and make sure you
always have clean shirts, pants/skirts, undergarments and socks
available. Don't let him see stains or unkempt clothing!
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3
Be a little mysterious. Let him wonder about you,
instead of telling him everything he wants to know (or more). Don't know
how to be mysterious? It's easier than it looks. Here's how to start:
- Don't tell him your life story right away. If he asks you about
yourself, offer some details. If an extremely personal or sensitive
topic comes up, don't immediately spill the beans or or get flustered
and offended; instead, smile a little and say, "Maybe another time."
- Make him do some work for your contact information. Instead of
immediately giving him your number or friending him on Facebook, be
patient. If he contacts you first, wait a little bit before you respond.
For instance, if he friends you, accept the request after a day or so.
If he texts you first, wait 30 to 40 minutes before you text back. While
he's waiting for you to respond, he'll be thinking about you and what
else you're doing and he'll find it alluring that you have plenty of
other things to be getting on with rather than doting on him all day
long.
- Keep up on your own hobbies. If you're interested in something he doesn't do, like amateur drama or a sport, it makes you
more interesting. As tempting as it is to spend all your time thinking
about this guy, maintaining a busy calendar will both keep you
distracted and increase your appeal.
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4
Always leave him wanting more. Create demand by
limiting supply. If you end the interaction before he's bored, he'll
immediately start looking forward to the next time he can talk to you.
- Stop texting first before the conversation gets stale.
- Log off chat first, again before what you're talking about gets old.
- If you're having a conversation with him, walk away while it's still interesting.
- If he calls you, end the conversation as soon as you suspect an awkward silence coming on.
- Don't obsessively text, IM or call him. If you make yourself too
available, you'll seem pushy and he might start to get annoyed. Instead,
try to seem available and willing, but not desperate.
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5
Try some subtle, ongoing flirting. Here are a few ways you can drop hints and boost his confidence:
- Get caught looking at him, whether he's across the room or sitting
next to you. When you make eye contact, hold his gaze for a second
before looking away. Extra points if you can smile or blush a bit.
- Keep your body language open. Angle your body toward him by pointing
your feet (standing) or knees (sitting) in his direction. Instead of
folding your arms, try to keep them at your sides or behind your back.
These small movements show that you're drawn to his presence and
interested in what he's saying.
- Allow yourself to be nervous around him. If you blush, twirl your
hair, or bite your lip when you're nervous, let it happen. Consciously
or not, he'll know that those signs mean you're attracted to him.
- Tease him. If you have an opportunity to gently banter with him,
take it! You can use understatement (like saying, "Eh, I guess that was
okay" and smiling after he does something impressive), sarcasm (like
saying "That wasn't awkward or anything" in a joking tone after a weird
moment), or inside jokes. Shared humor will help you two bond.
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6
Do something considerate for your man. Show him that
you notice what he's doing and you're willing to help without being
asked. Try to keep the gesture small enough that he won't be embarrassed
at your generosity, but big enough for him to feel valued. Try these
suggestions:
- Offer to spend time with him if he's doing something boring or
tedious. You could offer to walk home with him, help run errands, or
keep him company while he waits for an appointment.
- Help him finish a project. Does he have a lot of work piling up? Or
maybe he really needs to get some chores or home improvement projects
out of the way? If you can help, offer to do so. Show up with
coffee/food, and get to work!
- Be supportive when he's down. Whether it's a cold, the loss of a
loved one, or just too much stress, try to find a way to show your
support. Food, flowers, a nice note, or just letting him know you're
there for him are all good ideas.
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7
Be a positive force in his life. Most people can
manage to be negative all by themselves, so they're naturally drawn to
optimists and people who try to see the bright side of things. Instead
of focusing on what's wrong with your life or talking about the people
who annoy you, try to emphasize what's right. Moreover, be pleasant in
all that you say toward him and avoid gossiping. Be a positive person in
his presence and aim to be positive in general. It's a lot easier to
fall in love with someone who always sees the best in others and doesn't
gripe all the time.
- This isn't to say that you can never complain around him.
Everyone complains. But it can be exhausting to listen to someone gripe
constantly. Try to keep a rein on it so that he feels warm and fuzzy
about his time with you, not tired and down.
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8
Above all, don't try to force it. Remember: you can't actually
make
him fall in love with you. He's free to choose what he wants. Beyond
that, though, people can't always control who they love. If it's simply
not there on his end, resist the temptation to punish him for it. Accept
that if the relationship is meant to be, it will happen; if not, then
you're meant for something better.
- Avoid using the "girlfriend" term until he has said it first. If you
say it too prematurely, he may run and never look back. Even more
importantly, quell all talk of marriage and babies––that will definitely
speed things up fast.
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