funny jokes

Akpos Joke: School days over
December 2, 2013 | By Akpos    | Add a Comment

The following transpired in Akpos’ class:

Wale stands up and tells the teacher, “I saw the strap of your bra.”

Teacher Janet reacts angrily: Wale!! Get out!, no class for u for a week!

Johnbull started laughing at the back.

Teacher Janet: Why did u laugh?

Johnbull : I saw both straps of your bra

Teacher Janet: Get out, no class for you for 1 month!.. ..

Teacher Janet bent down to pick a piece of chalk. Immediately, Akpos started walking out of the class.

Teacher Janet: Akpos, why are you going out?

Akpos : Madam , with what I’ve seen, I think my school days are over
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Young man, you are coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum.

That’s a sign of disrespect!

Akpos: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.

Father-In-Law: You mean you drink and smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?

Akpos: Sir I only drink and smoke when I go to the club.

Father-In-Law: You club too?

Akpos: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison.

Father-In-Law: You’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!

Akpos: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!!

Father-In-Law: What!!! You’re a killer and you me to give you my daughter’s hand in marriage?

Akpos: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter, so I killed him.

Father-In-Law: You are highly welcome my son. You are on the right track. You are absolutely the right man for my daughter.
- See more at: http://funnyakposjokes.com/akpos-jokes-akpos-shakes-father-in-law/#sthash.cSfLMePG.dpuf










A local FM Radio station was running a contest, and Akpos phoned up.

The Radio presenter said:

“Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize.”

“That’s fantastic!” Akpos shouted in delight.

“Feel confident?” she asked. “It’s a maths question.”

“Well, I am an Engineer and have been teaching and practising maths for almost 10 years, ” Akpos proudly replied.

“Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 return tickets for an adventurous trip to Sambisa forest and an opportunity to meet Boko Haram’s boss Shekau and the Chibok Girls Face to Face:

What is 2+2?”

Akpos replied, “10”!!!
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Akpos Joke: Tragedy
May 29, 2015 | By Akpos    | 1 Comment

The President of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’. So the president asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy’.

One little boy stood up and offered, “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.” ”No,” said Jonathan, ”that would be an accident.”

A little girl raised her hand, ”If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a bridge, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.” ”I’m afraid not,” explained Jonathan. ”That’s what we would call great loss.”

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Jonathan searched the room, ”Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room, Akpos raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said, ”If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Jonathan was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and blown to pieces that would be a tragedy.” ”Fantastic!” exclaimed Jonathan.

”That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?” ”Well,” says Akpos, ”It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss… and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”
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Akpos Joke: Ladies of Today
May 21, 2015 | By Akpos    | Add a Comment

The following was awhatsapp conversation between Akpos and a lady online:

Lady: What car are you driving?

Akpos: A Mercedez Benz S Class…

Lady: I feel so comfortable talking to you.

Akpos: …which I rented this morning…

Lady:  I should  tell you that I have a boyfriend

Akpos: Because my BMW 7 Series is with the mechanic

Lady: I forgot to tell you that my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday
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The American police style: Investigate he’s a thief till you find an evidence to catch him.

The China police style: Chase the thief till he gets tired, then you catch him.

The Arab police style: Kidnap the thief’s wife and threaten the thief to surrender.

The Indian police style: Allow a pretty damsel sing for him to lure him closer, then you catch him.

The Nigerian police style: Catch any person on the street, beat him until he agrees he is a Thief.
- See more at: http://funnyakposjokes.com/joke-how-to-catch-a-thief/#sthash.Zf4CInUo.dpuf